Is Sexual Compatibility a Thing? A Quick Guide to Sexual Compatibility

Most people agree that sexual intimacy is related to relationship satisfaction.

When couples have different expectations about intimacy and do not speak about them, they often become resentful and get into arguments. Sometimes the relationship ends up being without sexual intimacy.

That is why it is essential to find out about compatibility and sexual compatibility before committing to the relationship.

Sexual compatibility has much to do with your attitudes and values around sexuality and commitment.

Discovering one's thoughts, views, and beliefs about sexuality does not mean you need to get sexually active with your potential partner. There are many ways to find out the most important.

By sharing your concerns and expectations now, you will be better able to build a solid foundation for a satisfying sexual life together.

There is no clear definition of sexual compatibility. Still, it is about how a couple shares sexual preferences, desires, and needs with their partner - including their definition of sex.

The best thing a couple can do is talk through a wide range of scenarios. See how you are feeling about the following statements:  
  • We feel enthusiastic about intimacy.
  • When I feel attracted to my partner, I cannot keep my hands off of them.
  • We are clear about the definition of consent in our relationship.
  • We have pretty similar views on sensuality and sexuality.
  • We are usually comfortable communicating our needs and boundaries.
  • We are open about sharing our sensual side.
  • We are curious about sexual self-expression and different activities.
  • We prioritize intimacy and sexual life as a part of a committed relationship.
  • We find it relatively easy to speak about our likes and dislikes.
  • Our current sex drives match enough.
  • In our relationship, we both are clear about the definition of fidelity and infidelity (regarding the views on online content, other people, etc.).
  • We want our partner to feel comfortable initiating and being spontaneous when it comes to intimacy.
  • We understand that each partner is seeking satisfaction in their perceived ways.
  • We explore sexual activity, not as routine but more of a pleasurable journey.
  • We should have regular conversations about our intimacy together.
  • We want to discover our turn-ons.
  • We take responsibility for ourselves instead of being obliged to each other.
  • We will seek expert help if one person's interest in sexual expression changes a lot, either increase or decrease?

The more similarities you have, the more sexually compatible you possibly are.

Being up-front about your current views and preferences likely requires some self-reflection and personal experience about your own body.

When two people love and respect each other, they can easily explore aspects of intimacy. It all comes down to communication and safe boundaries.

Sharing your views about sexuality is also a vital component of consent. First of all, if you don't know what is happening in your body or where your boundaries lie, it is almost impossible to be in a fully consensual exchange

"Yes, no, maybe - list." 

You might also choose to begin by making a "Yes, No Maybe" -list. Here are some ways to bring up sexuality along with your partner:

  • "I think it can be exciting to fill out a 'yes, no, maybe - list' together. Does that sound like something you may like to do together?"
  • "Before this gets serious, I would you to know that kissing is a vital component in a sexual relationship to me."

Ultimately though, if you and your partner are not on the same page, you may have some choices to make.

How about the differences?

If you usually feel spontaneous desire and your partner less often, but the sexual relationship is otherwise enjoyable and satisfying, you can expect compatibility to evolve over time, even with slightly mismatched libidos.

Sexual compatibility grows through constant open communication and dedication to learning about each other's sensual secrets and preferences.

Sexologist Christina can help you engage in a fun yet respectful conversation about sexual expression tailored to your particular communication style with your beloved