The Importance of Learning About Compatibility Versus Chemistry

Q: How to know before commitment, the person you are interested in is sexually compatible with you?

A: Skip the outdated advice, and go ahead and ask these important questions before anything gets serious. Otherwise, you are going into a relationship completely blind.

1. Ask the other and yourself: how important intimacy and passion are to me? How about my appetite?

2. How about the attitudes towards the use of contraception? Are lovemaking and intercourse synonymous with you? Is intimacy for procreation only, not for pleasure?

3. Things you would not compromise on! Do they know what climax is? Do they watch adult movies? Maybe they like one position only or hate the idea of the variety of pleasure?

4. What are the things they do not like at the moment? How open are they to go with the flow? Or, instead of setting healthy boundaries, do they need to be in control most of the time? How open are they to staying curious and experimenting with new things within their limits?

Significant differences in preferences most likely tear a relationship apart. However, intimacy gets better over time as the couple gets more comfortable with each other. 

If you have love and respect for each other, have similar attitudes towards intimacy, enough attraction and appetite, compatibility will naturally fall into place when both are curious, willing to learn, and most importantly, ready to teach each other. And finally, to be confident enough to communicate what feels right and whatnot. 

If you are still too shy to ask and talk directly, that is a sign that you are maybe not ready for an intimate relationship.